i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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