You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I am available for nakedness
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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