i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
