I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i came on her dog
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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