Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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