I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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