even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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