Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
