dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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