fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
