Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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