dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
