I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
