what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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