he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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