It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
