I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
