I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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