How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
