Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
