i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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