Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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