Yo dont text me then not text me
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
