lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
