im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
third nipple confirmed
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize