FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
