My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
