I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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