i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
