After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
