Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
then he tried to convert me to islam
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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