I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize