I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
