and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
