bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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