I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize