those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
