You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
