Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Mom said you looked used
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
