You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
