erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
