yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
