when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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