I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
