My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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