Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize