glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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