Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize