u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
i now understand why vodka
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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