Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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