Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
