Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
