I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
