Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
