Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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