Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
