I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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