69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize