so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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