we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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