He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
