He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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